As a very introverted introvert, holidays are rough. There’s some divorces on my husband’s side of the family, so whatever split would normally be between the families, as far as numbers of meals to attend, double that. Christmas is BY FAR the worst. We got down to three of them this year, but with a toddler, everyone wants to give him all the stuff, and hug everyone, and touch everyone and tell you how cute he is, and then give you a hug. I was told that Christmas dinner with my in-laws would be a quiet sedate event. There was some drama that happened Christmas Eve night, which I won’t glorify here, which slimmed the crowd down. Apparently that was license for my brother in law to invite his ENTIRE extended family – his entire, uneducated, jobless hillbilly family, who all want to hug and touch you and tell you how cute your kid is while talking about how wonderful Trump is. It was a nightmare. Today, I am touched out, hugged out, Trumped out, and tired. It’s like I have a hangover, minus the headache. I was exceedingly grumpy, and arrived to a nearly empty parking garage. To add insult to injury, my dad has today off, so he’ll be babysitting my toddler with my mom. Sounds great, right? Wrong. My dad is very much of the mindset that he is a guest when at my house. There will be dishes and crap everywhere in addition to the onslaught of toddler toys when I get home.
Before you start thinking I’m a total scrooge, there is one SHINING positive of coming to work on December 26, when nobody else is at work – it’s quiet. It’s solitary. It feels like a bit of heaven. Neither boss is here yet (one is in Washington State, I’ve heard nothing from the other), one of my cube mates is here, and will be quiet, the other one who is noisy is out with her kids today. That quiet solitude that is seemingly hard to find, is in abundance at work, and is JUST what I needed. Only the sounds of my typing, and the quiet hum of my heater are around me. There is no chatter, no phones ringing, no television, no people hugging me.
One of my coworkers is a very extroverted ENTJ. We get along well, especially as neither one of us are frilly soft folks, but she just does not understand my feeling of peopled out, and only minimally liking to be touched. Mr. ENFP looks at the opposite of that – i.e., I can relatively easily let people go. He admittedly LOVES people, but then can’t seem to let them go. I will happily take my peopled out state. My husband reacts much in the same way I do, but he’s content to be just with me after the escape from all of the people. I need solitude. He also wants to cuddle, which is fine almost any other day of the year. Yesterday (and frankly today), I don’t even want to hold hands.
This weekend, I have a day at the spa, courtesy of one of my bosses, and beyond grocery shopping, have zero plans of leaving my house. It will be glorious. I’ve been asked before how to find an INTJ, or another thinking intuitive introvert. I have to give credit to those who do, especially past college age. It has to be something really special to encourage us to come outside of our homes willingly. And it can’t be a large crowd, or we’ll shut down and bolt quickly. So, for all of the holidayed out introverts, we survived. And luckily, we only have to do this a few times a year. Enjoy the quiet touch-free solitude of your homes! I certainly will.
The INTJ Female 